By ALICE NOYES

Judge: You were clocked at 70 miles per hour in a 25 mile per hour zone!

REALTOR: Yes, your honor.

Judge: By air, as well as by land!

REALTOR: Yes, your honor.

Judge: What excuse do you have for this excessive speed?

REALTOR: I was late to show a house.

Judge: Where was this house located?

REALTOR: At your address, your honor.

Judge: You were showing … my house?

REALTOR: Yes, your honor.

Judge: Before I pass sentence, have you anything to add?

REALTOR: I have a contract, your honor.

Judge: Contract? Mmmmmmm … well … I’m going to … uh … uh … take this under advisement … good record … one more chance … Case dismissed!

REALTOR: Yes, your honor.

Alice Noyes is an 18-year real estate veteran and an agent with Choice Realty in Manchester.  Her column, “Alice From the Palace,” will be published every other Monday here, at the New Hampshire Association of REALTORS blog, nhpluse.com.  She can be reached at alice@nhchoice.com.

 

Dave Uncategorized

By ALICE NOYES

Many years ago, I set out to break records in real estate, even though my family assured me I lacked all the major prerequisites … blonde hair, blue eyes, and charm.  Little did they know that somewhere deep in my subconscious, the story of The Three Little Pigs had lain dormant from the time of my own childhood.  And the yearning for the solid brick house had never disappeared.

Our present living conditions did little to compensate for this long-standing desire.  We had acquired at a fire sale a modified American Igloo, whose ugly white stucco was now a sickening gray, accented by a bright red, very peaked roof, and darkened by window panes painted black in lieu of curtains.  No, we weren’t afraid of ghosts.  We scrubbed and repaired and scraped windows while the children searched the attic for the hidden coins the old hermit must certainly have left, back in the days when he was making bootleg beverages.  They didn’t find the coins, but did significant damage to the chimney.

And one night, I outlined my real estate plans to the family at dinner and explained that each one of our four children could assist in this quest and get a reward for helping with the sale.  My youngest, age 5 at the time, was captivated by my plans and promptly chose the telephone position to help.  (This came to my attention in precisely three weeks, when a client called to complain that his lawn hadn’t been mowed yet, as my son had promised.)

I think you get the picture.  We were off and running … toward the brick house.

Alice Noyes is an 18-year real estate veteran and an agent with Choice Realty in Manchester.  Her column, “Alice From the Palace,” will be published every other Monday here, at the New Hampshire Association of REALTORS blog, nhpluse.com.  She can be reached at alice@nhchoice.com.

Dave Uncategorized